Ice Cold

Wow. Is this three posts in three days? It’s like the good old days. Remember those? So, today I wake up and go through my normal routine. Read e-mails, listen to voicemails, eat some breakfast, say hi to my beautiful fishies, etc. Time for the shower.

I turn the water to hot and weigh myself while I wait for it to heat up. 139. Damn. That’s really skinny. I eat a lot of salmon. Shouldn’t I weigh more? I check the water – it’s still cold. I brush my teeth while I wait.

Still cold.

It doesn’t usually take this long, but ever since I got this hippie low flow showerhead that removes chlorine, it takes longer to heat up. I freestyle in front of the mirror.

It’s still cold. Something’s wrong. I go check my stove – it won’t work either. Dammit. They turned off my gas. For the first four years I lived here, my gas was directly debited from my checking account. This was a good system. All of a sudden they stopped, but I keep forgetting to check my bills. They’re just not that interesting. Yep. I’m a deadbeat.

I have to take a shower. Normally a huge wimp with cold water I stick my leg in. Not so bad. I slowly inch forward appendage by appendage until I’m mostly within the showerhead’s deadly aim.

Maybe because of years of conditioning, only taking showers with hot water, the water actually feels warm. As soon as I remember it’s cold, it feels cold again. I try to imagine that it’s a warm shower and it actually works. I continue my shower as I normally would and dry off.

Then it hits me – that wasn’t so bad. I’m moving in a month or so (you won’t believe where! I’ll write about it once it’s finalized), so I figure that I can just take cold showers for a month. I don’t need the gas to heat the house, obviously, and I don’t really need to use the stove.

So, if you see me in a month or so and realize I have gained a tremendous amount of character, now you know why.