The Legend of the Sparkly Hat

Anyone who has seen me in real life, seen pictures, or realized that the awesome cartoon at the top of this page is me, knows that I wear a sparkly hat almost all the time.

One day I a friend called to see if I wanted to check out “First Thursday”. It’s a monthly event here in Austin where the stores on South Congress stay open late and serve beer. Since none of them have a liquor license, they give away the alcohol for free.

We walked door to door, inspecting the wares of each vendor. There were furniture stores, clothing stores, home decor stores, and even a small organic grocer. We stumbled into a store with an ambiguous name. Only after walking in did I realize that it was a women’s clothing store.

A drunk woman stumbled to me. It was her store.

“I loooooooove your pants!”

I loved my pants too. They were batik / tye dye green and blue pants from Custo Barcelona. She pawed at them and exclaimed,

“I have JUST THE THING FOR YOU!”

“Oh… I don’t know. I didn’t realize this was a women’s store.”

She ignored me. “Follow me”

We pressed through the forest of clothing racks and reached a clearing with a single display in the middle of it. The sequins on each hat reflected the halogen lights back with a twinkle. It was a glorious collection of sequined hats, but I was unsure.

“Just try it on,” she urged. She picked up a silver hat with multi colored stars.

I put the hat on my had and turned around to look in the mirror. It was better than I expected. A lot better. I actually liked it. I figured I’d wear it once in a while at clubs, but with nowhere else to put it I wore it for the rest of the night.

Something strange happened, though. Everyone I met complimented the hat, and those that passed by looked at it and smiled. I was convinced and have worn it nearly every day since. Now people recognize me because of it, and I can’t stop wearing it.

Immediately after, my friend Hayden bought two sequinned hats. One is black with silver stars, the other is black with gold stars. Jonah bought a black one with silver stars. A few months later I realized the value of the hat and went back to the store to buy all of them, but they didn’t sell them anymore.

I went to the internet to buy more, but all the internet places sell ill fitting ones. Luckily Tarynn gave me a red one, Adam gave me a blue one with silver and gold moons and stars, and Hayden sold me his two. Next I want to commission someone to cover a hat with swarovski crystals and spell “Tynan” on it.